Romantic beach proposal at sunset Romantic beach proposal at sunset

Before You Get Down on One Knee: Signs You Should Wait to Propose


Doesn’t this sound like one of those things where if we had a pre-described methodology, a certain number of checkboxes to fill and a procedure to follow to reach the end goal, it would be amazing? 

As we can never really tell by a given standard that it is the right time or it is not, it is more of a momentary feeling, the happiness when it happens, or maybe the doom of sadness when things don’t go as planned. 

And you must have heard a lot of people say ” When the time is right, you will know”. When I was young, I never knew when to pop the question if I was in a relationship. Like “what if he says no?”, or “Shouldn’t I wait for him t pop the question instead?”.

But here is how I found the Signs that Show that it is Time to Propose 

Every relationship starts with a lot of questions and doubts and eventually, all of it falls into place if the person is right.

As time goes by all the questions are answered and all the doubts are cleared, and if after all that you feel the same for the other person, the love is still intact. Then the feeling of comfort rises high, and we feel a sense of security and we have developed the acceptance of that person and cherish it with your heart. 

Also, when we have spent sufficient time with a person, and things have glided along; I will not say smoothly but with a fair share of ups and downs.

When we have a basket full of memories both good and bad and you don’t want them to ever fade away.

This is when we start feeling that you want to spend your life with that individual and keep making more memories with them. So, the thought of marriage comes to our mind.

First off, I think we need to spend a lot of time, and have a complete understanding of the other person’s behavior. Only then can we know how they behave with us but also see and understand their behavior towards other people in our life, or strangers for that matter.

We know in our heart if this is the correct behavior if we love them for the way they behave, or if we feel like there is a lack of general sense or respect. 

Although not a primary part of a relationship, but a very important part. It is very necessary to meet the family and friends of any person you are in a serious relationship with.

This not only helps you get closer to them but also helps you to understand your partner better, with the help of the perspective of his close circle.

And if you take your relationship ahead you will know what you’re getting yourself into, because they will then become your friends and family as well. I also talked to a relationship expert on this, here is what she had to say.

“Think about where you want your relationship to be, or wanted it to be, and where it is before popping the question”

Sarah Davidson, Relationship Expert

The Icy Whiz team talked to Shenella Karunaratne, Licensed Professional Counselor at, about timing in proposals. Here is what she said:

Shenella Karunaratne
Shenella Karunaratne

“Proposing marriage is a big deal, but it is also something that can be done very differently depending on one’s culture.

So, it’s difficult to make broad claims about how proposals should be done without first acknowledging that marriage and proposals can look very different in other cultures. 

That being said, for most people today, I would say that one of the most important considerations for a proposal is communication with a partner ahead of time.

In most cases, the idea of marriage shouldn’t be a surprise for the person at the receiving end of the proposal, as it should be something the couple has already talked about.

On top of that, when it comes to the specifics of the proposal, the person proposing should know what their partner likes and doesn’t like. For example, some people hate public grand gestures, so an intimate proposal may be better.”

Signs I think that Show that it is not Yet Time to Propose 

Now that a certain time has passed by, the question about marrying the person you’re in a relationship with is bound to pop into your head. 

So, if in case you ask the question or try to make a conversation about the same and you feel like the other person is not ready for the conversation, or worst case they feel like this concept does not suit your relationship; then you might want to re-think your idea of proposing and if they seem very much off, then you might as well rethink about the person too. 

Also, let’s not avoid this – there will be arguments, but how much? So this is a tricky part, you will only be able to analyze this after serious introspection and retrospection. 

Given the two of you do not fight at all, it is very unnatural there is something wrong between the two of you. You have not yet encountered the real person, it is probably just a conversation with a façade.

“How do they behave with others? Your partner may not behave the same way with you now – but things can change fast”

Sarah Davidson, Relationship Expert

Having arguments is healthy, it tells your opinions and helps you voice out your feelings. 

Dr. Max Riv, a Clinical Psychologist and Co-Founder of the Love Discovery Institute shared his views on factors beyond personal feelings one should consider. Here is what he had to say:

Max Riv
Max Riv

“Deciding when to propose is a pivotal moment that goes beyond just personal feelings. Here are some key factors to consider:

  • Financial Stability: Money isn’t romantic, but it’s practical. Are both partners financially secure enough to merge lives? Financial stress can strain a relationship, so ensure you’re both on solid ground or have a plan to get there.
  • Career Considerations: Are both of you in stable career phases? If one is considering a significant change like going back to school or relocating for a job, it might impact your collective future.
  • Alignment of Life Goals: Do your future aspirations align? Whether it’s perspectives on children, where to live, or lifestyle choices, compatibility in these areas is crucial for long-term happiness.
  • Family Dynamics: How do both families blend? Sometimes, family tensions can impact a relationship. Ensuring you both can navigate these waters together is important.
  • Conflict Resolution: How do you handle disagreements? A proposal should come when you’ve seen each other at your best and worst and know you can tackle challenges together.

Each of these factors plays into the decision-making process by adding layers of practicality to the emotional decision of a lifetime commitment. They help ensure that the timing of your proposal sets the stage for a durable, fulfilling partnership.”

Although, if you are fighting a lot, about everything be it little or big there can be trouble because you both might not be compatible with each other. 

There must be a very strong contrast between your line of thought. If the fights are getting ugly, there is a loss of respect, and vulgar abusive behaviors then it is a strong sign to figure out what you should do with your relationship as proposing is completely off the list. 

Also, I think not knowing about your partner can be a red flag. So, there can be a lot of reasons why you do not know much about the other person’s life, this refers to the life outside of you.

Maybe you met in a city where they’re away from friends and family, maybe they’re not very comfortable sharing these details easily and maybe a very less amount of time has been spent together by the two of you. 

We interviewed Steffo Shambo, a Relationship Expert at Tantric Academy, on this. Since he frequently addresses such issues during his counseling sessions, he fits to answer this topic. Here is an excerpt from the interview:

Steffo Shambo
Steffo Shambo

“Beyond just feelings, I’d advise considering your financial compatibility and stability when deciding on the right time to propose marriage. Look at your budget together – ensure you’re on the same page about spending, saving, and financial goals.

Also, consider factors like career plans, whether someone may need to relocate for a job, and whether you’ll need to buy a new home together soon. You’ll want your foundation solid before leaping. 

Additionally, assess your relationship maturity and ability to effectively communicate, problem-solve, and handle conflict as a team. A proposal shouldn’t be made to “fix” issues.

Make sure you have a strong, healthy bond first. With finances steady and your connection solid, you’ll be primed for a lifetime of happiness.”

Whatever, the reason is until you have the complete knowledge of the person, his life and expectations do not jump fast to the next steps.

Take your time, and see how things are working out between you. Try making decisions together, and see how much trouble they create and how much effort is required to keep them intact. I took mine, and waited. Now, I am happily married. But it took me eight years to decide if I actually met my guy or not. It can take the same amount of time for you too.

Although, we can not define a timeline because this is a very person-relevant concept, something that is too early for you might be late for someone else. There can be a whole other set of people who can never be ready, and some are always ready.

It also depends upon the type of relationship you are in, how much are you seriously involved with the other person, and whether is there some future you seek.

So, whenever you’re feeling like you want to ‘put a ring on it ‘, then you must surely move forward and take the next step.

Guest Author: Saket Kumar

Last Updated on May 14, 2024 by soubhik


Anushree Khandelwal
  1. This question is something that has been bugging me for quite a while, but reading this felt like having a conversation with someone who knew all the answers to my questions.
    Now I Know How to judge when to propose.

  2. After reading this article I think I am able to deal with the situation like this. One should discuss all the things before marriage so he or she can live a better life. And compromising in some situations is the basic solution to live better life with your loved ones.

  3. I found this article on proposing quite intriguing. The idea of not having a predefined methodology and relying on momentary feelings resonated with me. The checklist of signs, like the feeling of security and comfort, or having thoughts of marriage, provides a relatable perspective on when it might be the right time to propose. It’s a balance of emotions and shared experiences that truly matter in such decisions.

  4. The question of when to propose has been lingering in my mind, and this article offered insightful answers. It explores signs indicating it’s the right time to propose, such as a sense of security, comfort, and a mutual understanding of each other. Conversely, it provides signs that it is not the right time, like fearing the future or lacking knowledge about your partner’s life. What makes this article stand out is its acknowledgment that there’s no universal timeline for proposing. The readiness for such a significant step varies from person to person and depends on the nature of the relationship.

  5. Engaging read! Proposing is deeply personal, and this article captures the essence well. Understanding each other, feeling secure, and shared experiences are crucial signs. On the flip side, unresolved arguments and a lack of knowledge about their life signal caution. There’s no fixed timeline; it’s about individual readiness and the unique journey of each relationship. “When the time is right, you will know.

  6. when did I get proposed? haha..
    but after reading this article, it is very important to think carefully before proposing to someone. and more carefully to choose the right person as already explained in this article

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